Hello, I'm Bridget. I'm 24 years old and looking for opinions. I'm not sure if this belongs here, but it was the only place I would think to look.
I've been hesitant to ask anyone about this, but I'm desperate for fresh thoughts regarding my situation.
I've been suffering from what could be hallucinations and black outs. My hallucinations are almost always the same. I'm covered in a mass of insects, ants I think, and I feel them crawling over my skin. I see them and even smell them, if that makes sense. They have a strange smell that reminds me of potting soil mixed with something rotting. It's a bad stench, really.
Black outs... That's all they are. I've done things in my 'sleep' during the black outs. I've walked small distances and said strange things during the black outs. One thing that seems to link the black outs together is that I always appear terrified to onlookers. I just recently smashed a statue of the virgin Mary during a black out, which is what led me to this message board.
I am on medication at the moment for bipolar disorder, but it doesn't seem to lessen the hallucinations or black outs. I've been treated with electro convulsive therapy as well. It did wonders for my mood swings, but I noticed no difference in the hallucinations or black outs.
My doctor suggested that I consider something called vagal nerve stimulation. He thinks that by 'resetting' the chemicals in my brain that everything will at least become less severe.
It's always been a lingering thought for me that this might not be simply mental illness, but some sort of paranormal influence. It's something that I'm actually ashamed to ask about, but I needed opinions before I go through with the VNS surgery. What the 'last straw' was, for me, was the destruction of my statue of the virgin Mary. It was actually nice, I got it for my confirmation.
I just wanted opinions and I don't feel very easy about asking my friends or family members for fear of them thinking I've gone off the deep end. So, please. I would appreciate anything you have to say.
I've been suffering from what could be hallucinations and black outs. My hallucinations are almost always the same. I'm covered in a mass of insects, ants I think, and I feel them crawling over my skin. I see them and even smell them, if that makes sense. They have a strange smell that reminds me of potting soil mixed with something rotting. It's a bad stench, really.
Black outs... That's all they are. I've done things in my 'sleep' during the black outs. I've walked small distances and said strange things during the black outs. One thing that seems to link the black outs together is that I always appear terrified to onlookers. I just recently smashed a statue of the virgin Mary during a black out, which is what led me to this message board.
I am on medication at the moment for bipolar disorder, but it doesn't seem to lessen the hallucinations or black outs. I've been treated with electro convulsive therapy as well. It did wonders for my mood swings, but I noticed no difference in the hallucinations or black outs.
My doctor suggested that I consider something called vagal nerve stimulation. He thinks that by 'resetting' the chemicals in my brain that everything will at least become less severe.
It's always been a lingering thought for me that this might not be simply mental illness, but some sort of paranormal influence. It's something that I'm actually ashamed to ask about, but I needed opinions before I go through with the VNS surgery. What the 'last straw' was, for me, was the destruction of my statue of the virgin Mary. It was actually nice, I got it for my confirmation.
I just wanted opinions and I don't feel very easy about asking my friends or family members for fear of them thinking I've gone off the deep end. So, please. I would appreciate anything you have to say.
